my wish.....

I don't believe in god
but if god really can hear my wish
I'll believe to whoever
whoever..
can make my dream come true

I wish my ah pa wouldn't leave me forever
I'm not selfish
atleast let me take care of him for more than 20 years
like he take care of me so long

today I was out with Bern and Calvin
sorry I keep show you two my shit face
I'm so sorry
I was trying to enjoy too
since it had been long time we didn't meet
forgive me
my heart was crying that time

on my way coming
I received a call from my brother
who I hate so much
but
what he told me make me so shocked..
I don't know how to reply at all
I tried call my ah pa
for so many time
it fail!!
I feel want scream!!!

I was scared..
I call everyone..
Aunt Fong..
Yan gogo..
even my mom..
I hope there are someone tell me how is my ah pa

I sms him..
please call back
it was quite ashame
I cried in the bus
I dunno where is him..
I dunno where to look for him??

how could this happen?
yesterday night you still sms me..
wish me happy new year..
at 11pm I remember..
why today you are in hospital??
I can't accept this
I can't accept why you don't tell me at all..

so much I hope will hear a connect tone from my phone
but it keep fail..
you off your phone?
or..
I dare not to think further..

I just can't control my voice when talking to mommy
I can't lost you
I can't..
everyone is so happy today
but why you need to suffer like hell in the hospital?

first time I feel thankful to brother
he told me you are ok
I know you are trying to comfort me from the phone
but I know you are so pain..

you told me before..
you stii worry of me
so everytime you enter the wad you also fight with death
can you please fight for me again?
I still can't take care of myself now
please don't leave me..
I pray to the god..
my only wish..

PLEASE LET CHEANG PENG NAM
BE WITH
CHEANG KAR YEE FOREVER